Chapter 5: Features of Fractal Psychology in Modifying Inner Child
Inner Child Therapy in Fractal Psychology is to modify your mind that remains stunted, by healing, re-experiencing and re-interpreting the events that caused trauma. Conventional therapy to treat Inner Child helps one to forgive his/her parents who gave imprinting and caused traumas, and to correct a tendency inherited from his/her ancestors. However, this does not conform to the theory of Fractal Psychology which is based on TAW, saying “Thoughts create reality.” TAW stipulates that our thoughts precede our parents.
As we learned from chapter three, we cannot recognize traits like love, because we do not possess love in ourselves. Therefore, some traits you see in parents are those you already have in your mind. Since you do not want to see them in yourself, you project them to your parents instead. Unless you admit that those traits originally belong to you, you cannot change your situation on your own, and you will experience the same situation again. When you experience the same situation, you will say as usual, “This negative pattern has been imprinted on me by my parents, so I’m experiencing this situation.”
Let me illustrate the above point. You felt that your clothes got dirty when you hugged your parents. You thought that their clothes were soiled first and made a mess on yours. So you exclude your parents from your life. Next, you change clothes and embrace your lover. Your lover’s clothes get dirty as well. Whose clothes are dirty after all? It seems that it is your body that is soiled. You see, this is how conventional therapies work, forgiving your parents and others for something even though they were still guilty, without pointing out the true cause.
Here is an example: suppose that your father hit you when you were a child. You forgive him saying, “Oh, he was immature back then. I will forgive him.” It may heal you temporarily and give you a sense of superiority as you felt like you successfully changed yourself. Yet, the tendency to be aggressive to others actually belongs to you, not your father, so you cannot change your disposition despite removing your father from your world. Therefore, you continue to attack people to whom you feel superior, including your children. In those instances, you will make an excuse that the trauma made by your father in your childhood still affects you.
You might remember that repeated memories act like true facts, as we have already learned. These memories repeatedly imaged create another reality. As a result, you might see somebody aggressive around you. You really desire that nobody hurts you, but you are creating somebody who is worse than you, in order to hide your true disposition. Thus, the vicious cycle continues.
TAW methods do not need external villains when you heal yourself. You do not need to forgive somebody in a therapy. All you need to do in therapy is to admit firstly that your father is a projection of your own self. If your father hit you, it suggests that you have initially attacked him (affronted him, belittled him) before his attack. Remember, “Thinking and Taking Action Are the Same Thing.” The admission comes first, and then, you will discover that even now your inner voice is always affronting somebody subconsciously. These aggressive dispositions are the true causes to drive you to your present troubles. Let me emphasis again, the admission must be first. Then, you recognize that your hidden personality, not the trauma, causes your present problems.
In the preparatory worksheet, you listed things that in which you think you are not as bad as your parents. That list is exactly what you have in yourself.