Only Child Likes Monopoly

5. Characteristics of the Only Child

The only child has the characteristics of both the Eldest Child and the Youngest Child. S/he is the only child of his/her parents, so they raise him/her very carefully and attentively. S/he receives only the best in everything. S/he acquires material things as much as the Eldest Child, and is protected as much as the Youngest Child. Having eliminated siblings, s/he can monopolize material possessions and protection. So, s/he is not good at sharing things with others. S/he tends to be laid back since things come to him/her without competition. S/he is inclined to perceive others as very greedy and competitive.

S/he does not have status and retainers, and does not have the same responsibilities as the Eldest Child. Since s/he is the only child surrounded by adults, s/he receives an enormous amount of attention. S/he takes it for granted that adults are there to serve him/her. S/he seeks absolute protection. In exchange for this protection, s/he has no freedom as his/her parents meddle with his/her business on all fronts. The image of the only child is that of the heir to the throne, living in a tower. Everybody guards him/her so carefully, lest something would happen to him/her. S/he has good relationships with elder people, but s/he cannot build good relationships with boys and girls his/her age. Yet, he allows him/her to focus on what s/he wants to do.

The only child is more timid than the Youngest Child. S/he tends to keep his/her parents’ attention by talking to them as much as s/he likes. More than the Eldest Child, s/he is secretary preoccupied with monetary assets. Because s/he wanted to monopolize his/her parents, s/he has no siblings, and that makes him/her more worried about the future as s/he grows. S/he cannot get rid of the fear that may happen when his/her parents die. Because of this fear and these worries, s/he has an inclination to accumulate wealth for his/her peace of mind. S/he likes savings money more than other children do. S/he has trouble understanding other people’s feelings because s/he did not have other siblings. S/he often feels as if s/he is an outsider.
Main characteristics:

A: S/he is not good at relationships. S/he has trouble understanding others and him/herself.
B: S/he is relaxed and less competitive. S/he is a pacifist.
C: S/he has a strong desire for money, but s/he is unaware of it because s/he desires it automatically and normally, and everything had come to him/her without competition or strong effort. S/he feels other people are more greedy than him/her.
D: S/he feels strong jealousy towards others when they have something that s/he wants.
E: S/he feels superior to people his/her age, because s/he grew up around people older than him/her.
F: S/he always carries a sense of loneliness.
G: S/he is very timid and does not want to venture out of his/her comfort zone. S/he has more fear as s/he grows older.
H: S/he wants people to do what s/he wants them to do. S/he is selfish.
I: S/he requires perfection from others.
J: S/he does not strive for improving him/herself and tends to maintain the status quo. S/he tends to procrastinate, but once s/he is determined, s/he does not hesitate.

You Can Find Your True Purpose of Life in Your Birth Order

Fractal Psychology Master Course: “Introduction”
The Fundamental Purposes of Life

Chapter 1. The Family Environment as the First Reality That You Created

TAW (Theory on which Fractal Psychology is based) theorizes that life is complete realization of your thoughts. The first thing in your life that you recognized is your family and familial relationships. So, this is your very first creation from your thoughts. Your thoughts precede everything including your parents, siblings and your birth order. Your reality emerged exactly as you had thought. Family is the smallest and first unit of society that you encountered. You learn how to interact with others from birth to the age of six when you live in a small social unit, such as a family. Your thoughts have created your family, and you learn patterns of personal interactions from it. This becomes the foundation of life.

The way you perceive family and your reality is as follows:

Wrong recognition:
“My family environment was _______, so I became _______.”

Correct recognition:
“I had thoughts of _______, which was manifested into my family environment.

“Because my environment had been such, I became _______ more and more.”

What purpose did you have by creating your family environment? It manifests in the order of birth among siblings. Parents treat the eldest, the Middle Child and the youngest differently. This difference can tell you what your initial purpose is at birth, because “Results are Purposes” as we have learned. Why were some born as the eldest, some as the youngest, or some without siblings?
Let us analyze attributes based on birth order.

General Purposes of Life Analyzed by Birth Order:

Eldest Child: status, things, possession, creation
Youngest Child: protection, guidance, love, wisdom, preservation
Middle Child: freedom, independence, innovation, destruction
Only Child: things, possession, protection, monopoly

As shown the above, birth order can tell you much about the purposes of life. Let us explore more in the following lessons (chapters).

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Everyone has His Own Purpose of Life

Fractal Psychology Master Course “Introduction”

THE FUNDAMENTAL PURPOSES OF LIFE

Preparatory Exercise: Choose the sentences that describe you in each group.

Group A:
・On a date, I prefer going to a high-end restaurant.
・I would choose to work for a large, household name company.
・I feel I should inherit and manage the family lineage after my parents’ death.
・I feel I should look after my ancestors’ graves (to preserve the family lineage).
・I sometimes end up purchasing items without checking the price first.
・I own high-quality items including high-end brands in small quantities.
・I am interested in learning about my ancestors’ history and traditional culture.
・I care about courtesy, social rules, and respectability.
・I feel enthusiastic and work hard when somebody depends on me.
・I have an unfounded confidence.
・I prefer quality over quantity.
・I believe it is a social rule to respect elder people/senior citizens.

Group B:
・On a date, I prefer a restaurant where I can chat comfortably.
・I prefer to work for a company with stability.
・I feel we should help weak people and people in need.
・I think love is more important than money.
・I sometimes want to buy what other people have.
・I become easily satisfied with something simple and inexpensive.
・I become interested in learning the same thing my friends are learning.
・I should get along with my neighbors so I could ask them for help in case of an emergency.
・There is somebody I revere.
・I feel that it is more pleasant to spend time with others rather than being alone.
・I can’t say no when somebody gives me direction.
・I would rather have somebody teach me on the job.

Group C:
・On a date, I don’t mind eating at a restaurant that we run into randomly.
・I would like to work for a company with a less restrictive corporate culture and a casual dress code.
・I want to go see the world, leaving family obligations to other siblings.
・I don’t follow fashion trends.
・It often happens that I have trouble find something I like, so I end up visiting many stores.
・I become learning something few people learn, rather than something many are learning.
・I feel in having to socialize with relatives and neighbors is tiresome.
・I would like to live in many different places.
・I enjoy traveling alone.
・I feel annoyed if other people rely on me.
・I will create my own method rather than imitating other people’s methods.
・I enjoy contemplating and creating revolutionary ideas.

When You Are in Conflict, Find Your “False Adult”

Chapter 12. Inner Child That Pretends to Be an Adult

The ultimate purpose of modifying your mind is transferring yourself to the state where you can make choices on your own. In that state, you will have independence based on the confidence with which you can be responsible for your life. This mental independence is the true form of freedom. It will definitely give you the greatest joy in your life.
However, there are times when you cannot make decisions, with various thoughts just going in circles. You want to make a decision, but still you cannot do it. Nobody deters you, but you are just unable to do so. This conflict wastes your energies, and this standstill exhausts you.

When you have a conflict, there are two entities inside you. One is mature, Adult You, and the other Inner Child. These two are arguing in your mind. Inner Child wants to avoid duties and responsibilities. S/he tries to deceive Adult You by making plausible excuses or seemingly rational reasons in order to manipulate other people including Adult You. This Child You is what we call “False Adult (Pretended Adult).” Its excuses eventually appear to be of righteousness and common sense, and that will make it difficult for you to make a decision, and send you thinking in circles without an end.
Sometimes Inner Child blurts out sophism. This unexplainable reasoning is called “Something Strange.” Something Strange is an unreasonable train of thought which is chained arbitrarily in your mind. You cannot become aware of this train of thought by yourself.

In order to end the conflict, you must be able to see through the excuses and rationales by False Adult and Something Strange. You must be careful with False Adult when it shows up and gives you reasons and explanation that are socially acknowledgeable. You may feel bound by these reasons and social rules, and become unable to choose and decide.

Those excuses may sometimes lead to serious consequences. For example, saying “I want to make my child listen to me. Otherwise s/he may be in an accident,” is in essence the same as wishing for an accident to happen to the child. When somebody says, “I have to quit my job, otherwise I may ruin my health,” no one knows whether it is true or not, but s/he allows the possibility that it will manifest as his/her reality one day.

Therefore, it is important to first to uncover what your Adult Self and Child Self are thinking. It helps to write down what they are saying on paper. As I explained before, we are not good at separating reality from imagination and fantasy. Writing helps you to draw a distinction between them and their respective thoughts. For instance, you might have two opposite wishes at the same time: you want to take a long vacation in an exquisite resort, and you want to work harder to get a promotion. When you hear both statements to yourself expressing the two thoughts, you think you can manage to do both. However, when you put your thoughts down on a paper, you can see it clearly that you need to choose one for yourself. Moreover, it helps to show what you have written to others. They can also point out your Something Strange.

It is also recommended to write down a dialog between Adult Self and Child Self.
You will notice that the Child Self sometimes pops out suddenly pretending to be an adult (False Adult) in the conversation. If you capture the false adult’s remarks straightaway, you will find the train of thought which has deceived you for long time, and you will be able to end the conflict.

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TAW Inner Child Therapy is the Method to Access to Your Limbic System

Chapter 11. Why Do We Need to Correct Inner Child

You see commentators on the news claim, “You, authorities, should apologize to victims,” or “You should pay more compensation money to victims.” This indicates that they believe things happened beyond their control and there must be somebody else to blame. Those people think that the act of blaming means justice.

In the world where thoughts create reality, there is no blaming game. There is nothing for which one can blame somebody else. Without understanding this law, people end up having a sense of victimization and blaming others as if that constitutes justice. This victim mentality is Inner Child. Yet, those commentators on the news have social status, and they are well-educated. Most people perceive the commentators’ remarks as rational and acceptable, so we interpret these remarks incorrectly as thoughts of Adult Self, instead of deeming it as thoughts of Inner Child. Still, we, Fractal psychologists, do not do it. Why do we deem these blaming thoughts as Inner Child?

As we learned from Lesson 3 (page 8), what the surface conscious experiences presently is the reality created out of the deep conscious. In order to change the current reality, you must modify and reeducate your deep conscious, especially the old part of it which has very limited and unintelligent viewpoints. Because of this “limited and unintelligent” inclination, we call it “Child.”
We all have this part in our deep conscious, so we call it Inner Child.

Visualizing yourself as a child has another effect. The law of “Thoughts Create Reality” can be explained physically as follows: Thoughts as water vapor turn into emotions as liquid water, and they form reality as ice. Therefore, you must go back at least to the stage of liquid water in order to change the ice. Since water means emotions in this case, you need to access the emotional part of the brain that is called the cerebral limbic system, which you used in your childhood. In order to do this, you need to imagine that you are a child, and feel the old emotions as much as possible. It allows the ice to remold into a new shape. Thus, your reality changes accordingly.

This process is also useful when one wants to develop a new ability. If the surface conscious is likened to leaves of a tree, the deep conscious is likened to its root. We can expect the tree to grow taller and faster when we give nutrients to the root of the tree, not to the leaves. The root is the old mind, called “Inner Child.”
As shown above, it is an effective method to visualize Inner Child in order to modify the old deep conscious and to develop new abilities.

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You Forget Your Initial Intentions of Being Ill

10. We Only Choose Benefits and Advantages

There is an sequence to follow, in order to gain a deep understanding the law, “Thoughts create reality.” To begin with, you must exclude the events that happened to other people. You need to examine only what happened to you, not what happened to others.
This principle must be followed in order to fully understand the law, “Thoughts create reality.” If you have a victim mentality, it is difficult to examine tragic events that you watch on TV news, putting aside your emotional feelings.

Every life strives to have a better environment. Therefore, a man only chooses whatever benefits him. Then, why are there those who choose and create sickness or bullying? We are sure that nobody wants to experience pain and suffering. However, if you experience those miseries, that means that you have thought of them at the level of deep conscious. You are writing those events into your screenplays.

When you are experiencing sufferings in your reality, you must find its seed (initial intention) to change the reality. Otherwise, the same result will continue to be produced because the same seed is automatically sown. For example, the seed of illness might have been your wish to let you off from work, to make someone treat you better, or to make someone apologize to you. The illness that was initially just a method to make your wish come true, became the purpose itself.
You forget your initial intentions (those are the purpose of your life), so you are apt to feel that you are a victim of your destiny, believing that you had not intended those events. But your initial intention is the origin, or the seed for creating your reality. The reality is the fruit of the seed.

If you are experiencing bullying, like horrible treatment from your boss, your initial intention may be to prove your perseverance. If you think, “I’ve struggled alone and worked hard despite of my boss’s bullying,” it might sound as if you are a better person, and it would give you some kinds of self-fulfillment. Making your boss a bad person naturally makes you a better and righteous person. In fact, your bully boss is just a projection of your deep conscious. This reveals that you are also a bully in your deep conscious. For the payment of concealing this fact, you end up experiencing being bullied.

Regardless of what your current reality is, let’s consider that your current reality would have had benefits at the beginning. By observing your present benefits, you can find your initial intention. And then, you can modify it and release yourself from hardships.

Your Feeling Is Not Necessarily a Fact.

Chapter 9: Your Sense of Deficiency Is Proportioned to the Amount of Your Desire

Let’s say a man answered the question in the preparatory exercise for Chapter three, that love means parents always listen to him. He believes his parents did not listen to him, which he took as a sign of their lack of love for him. However, how could he be sure that his parents did not listen to him? You cannot be so sure of your own senses. The feeling that your parents did nothing for you is not necessarily a fact. Children under the age of six have a very limited perspective and care about only themselves. They do not remember when their parents listened to them because it always happened naturally. If their parents ignored them once, they would have kept strong memories because they felt resentment toward their parents, and they would have the memory that their parents “always” did not listen to them because they replay the memory repeatedly.

On the other hand, there are children who can accept their situation easily. They do not complain to their parents when their parents don’t provide what they want. Those children did not expect much from their parents in the first place, thus, there is a difference in perceiving an event among children with different degrees of desire. If you hear one person state, “My parents didn’t take care of me,” and another state, “My parents did,” you cannot judge which person was cared for more than the other. Yet, you can assert that those who clung to the memory that their parents did not take care of them had really a strong desire for their parents to do that.

For those people, it is difficult to relinquish the resentful memories. The image of the poor self is transferred into another image that they made with much effort; this process changes the lazy and mundane self into somebody of distinction and importance. Unhappy memories of their parents not loving them are an attractive and agreeable story to make other people sympathize and forgive them despite their bad traits. They can manipulate other people into taking care of them.

Even when the stories are kept private in their minds, they feel a sense of superiority because they are trying very hard despite their unfortunate past. Thus, they have no intention to let go of the past when they have already grown up.
As I explained above, there are misunderstandings in their minds which are emotionally charged. Those misunderstandings lead to their current situations in which they feel frustrated or underappreciated it is. Such a waste of energy to have these misunderstandings! Recognizing these misunderstandings is the way to liberate themselves in the true sense. However, their freedom is still limited as long as they blame their parents for their current lives. That means that they are still spiritually dependent on their parents even if they seem to be financially independent.

People Have Wrong Definition of Love

Chapter 8: Change Definition of Love

Some people will have emotional difficulties when they try to broaden their perception. For those who hate the parents, it does not make sense when they hear that their parents loved them. Deeper investigation uncovers that they have resentment towards their parents who were different from their ideal image, saying; “my parents should have done that for me, but..” or “My parents were unusual. They didn’t act as other parents do..” Now they are adults, and they seem like they already have forgiven their parents, but those emotions still remain, even over something trivial. Those people have noticed many shortcomings in their parents.

Examples of the situation are:
1. My mother was cold-hearted, always paying attention to my elder brother and never to me.
2. My father was selfish and never fulfilled my needs. He never asked me what I wanted to buy and where I wanted to go.
3. My mom always took care of my younger sister, and she left me alone, saying “You are not a little child anymore.”
4. I was subject to abuse, so I was not same as other children. My parents were very immature.
5. I was always wondering why my family was deprived. My parents were always complaining about money and they didn’t buy anything for me.
6. My mother was dependent and obedient to my father. I didn’t want to turn out to be like her. I thought women were at a disadvantage. That’s why I never married.
7. I grew up in a loveless family because my parents divorced. I don’t know how to love, so nobody loves me.

You cannot recognize things that you take for granted. If you are a parent, you must know from experience what a demanding job parenting is. Parents spend most of their time child-rearing. Those who do not admit that their parents loved them do not comprehend this. They say, “I did not ask them to give birth. They just had me, so it’s their duty to raise me. However, simply taking care of me is not love.” They are asking their parents for something special, more than simply taking care of them. For those people, love means dependence and control. If they insist on this attitude, they will never have true love because the growing older naturally means less dependence on others.

If a woman has this dependency, she will have a fear of loving others. It is not because she did not have her parents’ love but she has become fearful thinking a lover will be dependent on her and control her just in the same way as she demanded to her mother and father. In her private life, she will have trouble getting married, and socially she will not enjoy working with subordinates because she believes other people are really dependent on her. As we have seen so far, the old, piled up resentments hinder growth and development, and they put limitations on you unknowingly. Thus, the misconception of the definition of love limits you in many ways.

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Misinterpretation Rooted From Limited Perspectives

Chapter 7: Broaden Perspectives and Eliminate Misinterpretation

How were your answers in the preparatory exercises? Most students answered something like, “I understood my mother over 99 percent but she understood me only 10 percent.”
The answers reveal that most of us feel that our mother’s perception on us was wrong and our viewpoint of our mothers was right. Is this true? No, in fact your mother definitely understood you much better than you did your mother. Do you agree? The more mature you are, the more you understand this and agree. The same goes for your workplace; the less experienced employees absolutely cannot understand the more experienced workers. However, you believed that as a child, you could judge your parents better than they judged you as well. This per se is an example of misinterpretation rooted from limited perspectives.

Your immature mind defined your parents before you were six years old. Thus, without truly understanding what your parents were actually doing, you have defined what your parents were. A broader perspective brings accurate views. For example, the whole view of an elephant drives you to understand accurately what an elephant is. But with a limited viewpoint, if you see only a leg of an elephant, you misinterpret that the foot is the entire elephant. You would believe that an elephant must be like a wall.

The same thing happened in your childhood. The perceptive of a child is centered on self. Child-you determined that whoever pampers you is a good person, and whoever restricts you is a bad person. Children would likely say;
“My mother is cold. She is always nice to my younger sister, not me.”
”My dad gets angry easily. He is scary. I don’t want to talk to him. I hate him.”

Fractal Psychological modification of Inner Child makes your perception of time wider and lets you get the whole picture of every object. You need to consider what the true meaning of fairness is, and who should have priority in a family. This consideration will help you get rid of your misinterpretation. And then, you can start to perceive a new world that you have missed so far.

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All Problems Stem From Only Three Causes

Chapter 6: All Problems Stem From Arrogance, Laziness and Ignorance

As we have already learned, the recognition ability of Inner Child is too immature to acknowledge our parents fairly and accurately. This failure has led to much misunderstanding and undervaluation of your parents at the level of the deep consciousness, even though we are now adults. Remember, the evaluation of your parents reflects on society. When you undervalue your parents, you undervalue your own abilities as well, because your parents are the reflection of part of your deep conscious.
For this reason, people who don’t respect their parents are apt to feel their ability is low, and they might believe that the reason is genetic. This is not true.

Fractal Psychology elucidates that, ultimately speaking, all problems stem from arrogance, laziness and ignorance: in other words, arrogance that parents should always put you first over anybody else, baby-like laziness that parents should take care of you constantly, ignorance that stems from lack of knowledge of the mechanism between phenomenon and thought. This misconception at the initial stage of life becomes a pattern and produces seeds for many troubles and problems in the future. These seeds are present and will affect your deep conscious.

Why do these misunderstanding occur? It is because we had been in perfect harmony and oneness before we started this life. Imagine that, as a fetus, you have absolute protection in your mother’s warm womb; you can get a constant flow of nutrients before you feel even a little hunger. There is no need for asking or showing your desires to others, and still you are protected from everything perfectly. But once you were born, the world begins to lag. You cry for milk, but milk does not come immediately. Everything takes time. Sometimes results are not as expected, and you must suffer and endure.

So, to be born in this world means a transition from the perfect world to a world with dissatisfaction and negativity. You take more notice of negativity, rather than love that exists for granted. You forget that in the womb you grew yourself on your own, but now you need to ask your parents to nurture you instead. This is the base of your mind, and that makes you incorrectly require something from your parents, others, and society. Furthermore, you might believe you are still helpless and powerless even in adulthood. Needless to say, that is just an illusion, but these feelings are comfortable for you because they remind you of being helpless and powerless after birth, when your parents took care of all of your needs.

Examples of Childhood Misinterpretation

“I am the center of my family.”
“I think my mother should prioritize me, instead of my father and my siblings.”
I consider my mother as a maid.
I think that my siblings took my mother away from me.
I feel that I can get anything I want.
I feel that I should be freed from whatever I do not want to do.
I believe that my mother should understand my feelings without explanation.
I think it is malicious to scold me.
I think others should listen to me all the time.

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