Only Child Likes Monopoly

5. Characteristics of the Only Child

The only child has the characteristics of both the Eldest Child and the Youngest Child. S/he is the only child of his/her parents, so they raise him/her very carefully and attentively. S/he receives only the best in everything. S/he acquires material things as much as the Eldest Child, and is protected as much as the Youngest Child. Having eliminated siblings, s/he can monopolize material possessions and protection. So, s/he is not good at sharing things with others. S/he tends to be laid back since things come to him/her without competition. S/he is inclined to perceive others as very greedy and competitive.

S/he does not have status and retainers, and does not have the same responsibilities as the Eldest Child. Since s/he is the only child surrounded by adults, s/he receives an enormous amount of attention. S/he takes it for granted that adults are there to serve him/her. S/he seeks absolute protection. In exchange for this protection, s/he has no freedom as his/her parents meddle with his/her business on all fronts. The image of the only child is that of the heir to the throne, living in a tower. Everybody guards him/her so carefully, lest something would happen to him/her. S/he has good relationships with elder people, but s/he cannot build good relationships with boys and girls his/her age. Yet, he allows him/her to focus on what s/he wants to do.

The only child is more timid than the Youngest Child. S/he tends to keep his/her parents’ attention by talking to them as much as s/he likes. More than the Eldest Child, s/he is secretary preoccupied with monetary assets. Because s/he wanted to monopolize his/her parents, s/he has no siblings, and that makes him/her more worried about the future as s/he grows. S/he cannot get rid of the fear that may happen when his/her parents die. Because of this fear and these worries, s/he has an inclination to accumulate wealth for his/her peace of mind. S/he likes savings money more than other children do. S/he has trouble understanding other people’s feelings because s/he did not have other siblings. S/he often feels as if s/he is an outsider.
Main characteristics:

A: S/he is not good at relationships. S/he has trouble understanding others and him/herself.
B: S/he is relaxed and less competitive. S/he is a pacifist.
C: S/he has a strong desire for money, but s/he is unaware of it because s/he desires it automatically and normally, and everything had come to him/her without competition or strong effort. S/he feels other people are more greedy than him/her.
D: S/he feels strong jealousy towards others when they have something that s/he wants.
E: S/he feels superior to people his/her age, because s/he grew up around people older than him/her.
F: S/he always carries a sense of loneliness.
G: S/he is very timid and does not want to venture out of his/her comfort zone. S/he has more fear as s/he grows older.
H: S/he wants people to do what s/he wants them to do. S/he is selfish.
I: S/he requires perfection from others.
J: S/he does not strive for improving him/herself and tends to maintain the status quo. S/he tends to procrastinate, but once s/he is determined, s/he does not hesitate.

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The Purpose of Life for Youngest Child is Protection..Love.

3. Characteristic of the Youngest Child

The Youngest Child has at least one older sibling, so parents are experienced raising children by the time of his/her birth. They raise him/her while they work and take care of the first child. The youngest can never experience monopolizing his/her mother, and usually receives second-hand clothing and baby items from the older sibling. Parents and family members no longer make a big deal out of the arrival of a child. Thus, s/he receives much less attention and fewer gifts. From the start, parents can dedicate less time and energy to this child in comparison to the older child. If there are three or more children in the household, they can no longer afford financially to provide for the Youngest Child, so eventually his/her financial state will be worse. The first child tends to want the best things, but the Youngest Child usually feels very happy when receiving something from his/her parents, even if it is ridiculously trivial.

The Youngest Child is often said to be shrewd. S/he grows up watching the older siblings and can observe what makes their parents happy or annoyed. On the other hand, s/he is very cautious and timid, and this disposition itself caused him/her to be born as the youngest. S/he is supposed to be protected and pampered by the whole family. The general definition of love is receiving protection and care, so we can say that “protection is love.” Thus, the Youngest Child can obtain “love.” S/he receives less care and attention initially, but the attention of his/her parents will increase little by little as s/he grows older. That is because his/her mother can spend more time and attention to take care of the Youngest Child as the older siblings become independent. Thus, the Youngest Child is the only child who can get increase his/her mother’s care. S/he enjoys learning from the older siblings who are ahead of him/her. S/he is less resistant to receiving guidance or copying others. On the other hand, s/he always feels inferior to the older siblings. That feeling makes him/her very competitive, and make him/her possess a strong aspiration to improve.

Sometimes the older siblings suppress and force him/her to behave like as a servant. This is the cost of the love (protection) that s/he gets. In order to be loved (protected,) s/he needs to be observant of other family members, and curry favor with them. This is another cost of love. Thus, s/he becomes interested in people. The image of the Youngest Child is that of “an eternal student.” S/he has an inclination to learn forever. S/he always feels unconfident and feels like s/he can never win. This feeling is also the cost of receiving “protection.”

Main Characteristics:
A: S/he tends to be dependent and needy for protection.
B: S/he is timid, feeling unstable in a leadership position.
C: S/he is emotional, considerate to others, sympathetic with others.
D: S/he tends to curry favor with others, and often uses humore.
E: S/he is interested in learning, being guided and has great aspirations.
F: S/he becomes flustered because there is always something overwhelming him/her. S/he has low self-estimateem.
G: S/he avoids taking responsibility alone. S/he takes action only when guided or instructed.
H: S/he is self-assertive in a selfish manner.
I: Due to low self-esteem, s/he tends to settle for her/his second choice.

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You Can Find Your True Purpose of Life in Your Birth Order

Fractal Psychology Master Course: “Introduction”
The Fundamental Purposes of Life

Chapter 1. The Family Environment as the First Reality That You Created

TAW (Theory on which Fractal Psychology is based) theorizes that life is complete realization of your thoughts. The first thing in your life that you recognized is your family and familial relationships. So, this is your very first creation from your thoughts. Your thoughts precede everything including your parents, siblings and your birth order. Your reality emerged exactly as you had thought. Family is the smallest and first unit of society that you encountered. You learn how to interact with others from birth to the age of six when you live in a small social unit, such as a family. Your thoughts have created your family, and you learn patterns of personal interactions from it. This becomes the foundation of life.

The way you perceive family and your reality is as follows:

Wrong recognition:
“My family environment was _______, so I became _______.”

Correct recognition:
“I had thoughts of _______, which was manifested into my family environment.

“Because my environment had been such, I became _______ more and more.”

What purpose did you have by creating your family environment? It manifests in the order of birth among siblings. Parents treat the eldest, the Middle Child and the youngest differently. This difference can tell you what your initial purpose is at birth, because “Results are Purposes” as we have learned. Why were some born as the eldest, some as the youngest, or some without siblings?
Let us analyze attributes based on birth order.

General Purposes of Life Analyzed by Birth Order:

Eldest Child: status, things, possession, creation
Youngest Child: protection, guidance, love, wisdom, preservation
Middle Child: freedom, independence, innovation, destruction
Only Child: things, possession, protection, monopoly

As shown the above, birth order can tell you much about the purposes of life. Let us explore more in the following lessons (chapters).

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Everyone has His Own Purpose of Life

Fractal Psychology Master Course “Introduction”

THE FUNDAMENTAL PURPOSES OF LIFE

Preparatory Exercise: Choose the sentences that describe you in each group.

Group A:
・On a date, I prefer going to a high-end restaurant.
・I would choose to work for a large, household name company.
・I feel I should inherit and manage the family lineage after my parents’ death.
・I feel I should look after my ancestors’ graves (to preserve the family lineage).
・I sometimes end up purchasing items without checking the price first.
・I own high-quality items including high-end brands in small quantities.
・I am interested in learning about my ancestors’ history and traditional culture.
・I care about courtesy, social rules, and respectability.
・I feel enthusiastic and work hard when somebody depends on me.
・I have an unfounded confidence.
・I prefer quality over quantity.
・I believe it is a social rule to respect elder people/senior citizens.

Group B:
・On a date, I prefer a restaurant where I can chat comfortably.
・I prefer to work for a company with stability.
・I feel we should help weak people and people in need.
・I think love is more important than money.
・I sometimes want to buy what other people have.
・I become easily satisfied with something simple and inexpensive.
・I become interested in learning the same thing my friends are learning.
・I should get along with my neighbors so I could ask them for help in case of an emergency.
・There is somebody I revere.
・I feel that it is more pleasant to spend time with others rather than being alone.
・I can’t say no when somebody gives me direction.
・I would rather have somebody teach me on the job.

Group C:
・On a date, I don’t mind eating at a restaurant that we run into randomly.
・I would like to work for a company with a less restrictive corporate culture and a casual dress code.
・I want to go see the world, leaving family obligations to other siblings.
・I don’t follow fashion trends.
・It often happens that I have trouble find something I like, so I end up visiting many stores.
・I become learning something few people learn, rather than something many are learning.
・I feel in having to socialize with relatives and neighbors is tiresome.
・I would like to live in many different places.
・I enjoy traveling alone.
・I feel annoyed if other people rely on me.
・I will create my own method rather than imitating other people’s methods.
・I enjoy contemplating and creating revolutionary ideas.

You Forget Your Initial Intentions of Being Ill

10. We Only Choose Benefits and Advantages

There is an sequence to follow, in order to gain a deep understanding the law, “Thoughts create reality.” To begin with, you must exclude the events that happened to other people. You need to examine only what happened to you, not what happened to others.
This principle must be followed in order to fully understand the law, “Thoughts create reality.” If you have a victim mentality, it is difficult to examine tragic events that you watch on TV news, putting aside your emotional feelings.

Every life strives to have a better environment. Therefore, a man only chooses whatever benefits him. Then, why are there those who choose and create sickness or bullying? We are sure that nobody wants to experience pain and suffering. However, if you experience those miseries, that means that you have thought of them at the level of deep conscious. You are writing those events into your screenplays.

When you are experiencing sufferings in your reality, you must find its seed (initial intention) to change the reality. Otherwise, the same result will continue to be produced because the same seed is automatically sown. For example, the seed of illness might have been your wish to let you off from work, to make someone treat you better, or to make someone apologize to you. The illness that was initially just a method to make your wish come true, became the purpose itself.
You forget your initial intentions (those are the purpose of your life), so you are apt to feel that you are a victim of your destiny, believing that you had not intended those events. But your initial intention is the origin, or the seed for creating your reality. The reality is the fruit of the seed.

If you are experiencing bullying, like horrible treatment from your boss, your initial intention may be to prove your perseverance. If you think, “I’ve struggled alone and worked hard despite of my boss’s bullying,” it might sound as if you are a better person, and it would give you some kinds of self-fulfillment. Making your boss a bad person naturally makes you a better and righteous person. In fact, your bully boss is just a projection of your deep conscious. This reveals that you are also a bully in your deep conscious. For the payment of concealing this fact, you end up experiencing being bullied.

Regardless of what your current reality is, let’s consider that your current reality would have had benefits at the beginning. By observing your present benefits, you can find your initial intention. And then, you can modify it and release yourself from hardships.

Your Feeling Is Not Necessarily a Fact.

Chapter 9: Your Sense of Deficiency Is Proportioned to the Amount of Your Desire

Let’s say a man answered the question in the preparatory exercise for Chapter three, that love means parents always listen to him. He believes his parents did not listen to him, which he took as a sign of their lack of love for him. However, how could he be sure that his parents did not listen to him? You cannot be so sure of your own senses. The feeling that your parents did nothing for you is not necessarily a fact. Children under the age of six have a very limited perspective and care about only themselves. They do not remember when their parents listened to them because it always happened naturally. If their parents ignored them once, they would have kept strong memories because they felt resentment toward their parents, and they would have the memory that their parents “always” did not listen to them because they replay the memory repeatedly.

On the other hand, there are children who can accept their situation easily. They do not complain to their parents when their parents don’t provide what they want. Those children did not expect much from their parents in the first place, thus, there is a difference in perceiving an event among children with different degrees of desire. If you hear one person state, “My parents didn’t take care of me,” and another state, “My parents did,” you cannot judge which person was cared for more than the other. Yet, you can assert that those who clung to the memory that their parents did not take care of them had really a strong desire for their parents to do that.

For those people, it is difficult to relinquish the resentful memories. The image of the poor self is transferred into another image that they made with much effort; this process changes the lazy and mundane self into somebody of distinction and importance. Unhappy memories of their parents not loving them are an attractive and agreeable story to make other people sympathize and forgive them despite their bad traits. They can manipulate other people into taking care of them.

Even when the stories are kept private in their minds, they feel a sense of superiority because they are trying very hard despite their unfortunate past. Thus, they have no intention to let go of the past when they have already grown up.
As I explained above, there are misunderstandings in their minds which are emotionally charged. Those misunderstandings lead to their current situations in which they feel frustrated or underappreciated it is. Such a waste of energy to have these misunderstandings! Recognizing these misunderstandings is the way to liberate themselves in the true sense. However, their freedom is still limited as long as they blame their parents for their current lives. That means that they are still spiritually dependent on their parents even if they seem to be financially independent.

People Have Wrong Definition of Love

Chapter 8: Change Definition of Love

Some people will have emotional difficulties when they try to broaden their perception. For those who hate the parents, it does not make sense when they hear that their parents loved them. Deeper investigation uncovers that they have resentment towards their parents who were different from their ideal image, saying; “my parents should have done that for me, but..” or “My parents were unusual. They didn’t act as other parents do..” Now they are adults, and they seem like they already have forgiven their parents, but those emotions still remain, even over something trivial. Those people have noticed many shortcomings in their parents.

Examples of the situation are:
1. My mother was cold-hearted, always paying attention to my elder brother and never to me.
2. My father was selfish and never fulfilled my needs. He never asked me what I wanted to buy and where I wanted to go.
3. My mom always took care of my younger sister, and she left me alone, saying “You are not a little child anymore.”
4. I was subject to abuse, so I was not same as other children. My parents were very immature.
5. I was always wondering why my family was deprived. My parents were always complaining about money and they didn’t buy anything for me.
6. My mother was dependent and obedient to my father. I didn’t want to turn out to be like her. I thought women were at a disadvantage. That’s why I never married.
7. I grew up in a loveless family because my parents divorced. I don’t know how to love, so nobody loves me.

You cannot recognize things that you take for granted. If you are a parent, you must know from experience what a demanding job parenting is. Parents spend most of their time child-rearing. Those who do not admit that their parents loved them do not comprehend this. They say, “I did not ask them to give birth. They just had me, so it’s their duty to raise me. However, simply taking care of me is not love.” They are asking their parents for something special, more than simply taking care of them. For those people, love means dependence and control. If they insist on this attitude, they will never have true love because the growing older naturally means less dependence on others.

If a woman has this dependency, she will have a fear of loving others. It is not because she did not have her parents’ love but she has become fearful thinking a lover will be dependent on her and control her just in the same way as she demanded to her mother and father. In her private life, she will have trouble getting married, and socially she will not enjoy working with subordinates because she believes other people are really dependent on her. As we have seen so far, the old, piled up resentments hinder growth and development, and they put limitations on you unknowingly. Thus, the misconception of the definition of love limits you in many ways.

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